Oh To Be Small

As long as I can remember, I’ve always thought of myself as “big”. By the time I was 10 or 11 years old, I’d already hit my adult height of 5’4”, which felt so much taller than my peers. I hated being tall – taller than my friends, taller than the boys. As we all know, standing out in any way, particularly when we’re young, feels scary and alienating. I was never teased about my height, but it bothered me. It didn’t help that I was also fat, of course. I was big times two. As an adult, my height is actually on the lower end of average for a woman, so I’m no longer considered tall and haven’t been for most of my life. I still feel big though, because of my body type. The truth is I love the idea of being small. Little. Tiny. Any time I feel that way, I feel happy, delicate, feminine…I hate to say it, but probably more beautiful too. I think what I feel most is precious. Not precious as in pretentious, but precious as in valuable. Because I was bigger than most kids, I was never described as cute, adorable, precious. I wanted to be precious.

When I found this oversized Adirondack chair at Safeway…..well, I think you know why I hopped right in.

10 thoughts on “Oh To Be Small

  1. What?! Sorry, May, but you’ve always been my adorable and precious little cousin. *I’M* the BIG one, and don’t you forget it. 😉

  2. May – we are all beautiful and feminine and precious whatever our size. I know the desire to be smaller – I’m almost six feet tall and peaked out at a size 24 a few years back. It’s with struggle and a desire that I’ve gotten down to a size 18. But still nobody would call me small.

    The grass is greener – one of my best friends is 5 feet tall, size 00 (!) or 0 and a 32A bra. Even in petites at “normal” stores the hems are too long, the sleeves are too long, the bust is too generous. She’s come shopping with me before and expressed her jealousy that I have whole stores dedicated to clothes that fit me!

    • Thanks Beth. Your point about the grass being greener is a good one. I think I easily forget that folks on the other side of the size spectrum (and everyone in between, really) also have size problems too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *